Dear Diary

January 5, 2012

Pilani had always felt like home. I loved this place, even before I knew I was going to spend the four most precious years of my life here. And yet when I walked into Meera today, I wanted to run away from this place. It hurt to be here... to walk into this place... to have no one to call and tell, “I’m here!”

I walked into a wing with random people bonding in the corridor, known rooms with unknown people, empty inspite of all the noise around... and then on my door I found a peacock feather and a post-it-note that I had once put on Su’s wall. It said ‘Thank you =) It is washed but not ironed though’. Su had signed below it. And amongst all the trash scribbled on the door I noticed the red sparkling ‘we love you nil’. I couldn’t help the tears. Somebody walking by said ‘hi’. I ignored. I walked into my room and closed the door.

Was it going to be this bad? No... right? I can live through this... one day at a time....

In the next five minutes I realized that Swati’s pink bin is missing and I can’t walk into Su’s room to ask for her broom. Finally, I changed my clothes and went to find Archie. It felt good. Familiar faces, familiar smiles, familiar jokes. Familiar, but not the same anymore.

In bed... unsure, cold, lonely, and terribly hungry. Yes, I miss the gajar ka halwa, the thekuas, the son-papdis, the pethas... but way more than those, three very mad creatures.