Semester End Ramblings

This semester is coming to a close, and every time I begin to think about it, it completely overwhelms me. So much has happened in such little time that I don't even know what all has. Also, I haven't learnt anything new, academics wise, since last year probably. Exams start on Friday, and God knows my acads are f***ed big time this sem, but my will to work, to learn, to study, to fight, to even try is awfully hard to find. I wish I could ask: "why me?", but I know better. In some instances, I wish I could also complain: "why not me?" but I know the futility.
You know, you could ghot a lot and still fail at it, just like those times when you do only a little and luck helps you out a lot.
This last year has been so so harsh. Such little good has come out of it. It could have been so much more fruitful. Friends have come and gone and come and gone etc, life also came and gone and came and gone and played with my spirit till it got tired of the mockery. And now, at the end of it all, at the end of one huge, painfully long year away from home, I feel so empty, so lost, so...finished. And not even in a depressing sort of a way, just completely matter-of-fact empty, like it was supposed to be that way. As if my job here, for one year, was nothing, and that, that job is done. And although there are still three whole years of which I have no clue how I will survive and my head goes into a confusion trying to look for a point to it every single time, I don't feel I have it in me to go on. I shouldn't live. Really.
I will survive, eventually, because there's no reason to just quit, but really, in life's journeys if you eventually come to the same point as you started, why do we even move? Why do we even try? No matter how much you do, how much you slog, how much you love, and how much of yourself you kill and sacrifice, both for yourself and the wellbeing of others, how come it's never enough? Why should I go on?

A little sweet
A little sour
A little close
Not too far
All I need, all I need
All I need, Is to be free...